One cannot remake themselves without suffering for they are both the marble and sculptor.
This post was inspired by a book called the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Check it out sometime.
What’s good beloved?
Life is very cyclical but before we get into this semi-depressing topic, I want you to be in a good mood so do me a massive favour and watch the lion king music video below.
Do you feel epic after watching that? Well, I do and I am definitely recreating the scene where Rafiki lifted Simba in the air with my first child.
Isn’t it crazy how when we were born, none of us had the chance to form our own identity? We didn’t even get to choose our own name- it was given to us.
Let that sink in for a second.
Here’s another fun fact for you: we were all domesticated like a house pet during our childhood.
“who’s a good boy?”
In most cultures, it’s common to get rewarded when you’re being a “good” child AND in my culture (I have Nigerian heritage), you get an ass whooping for being “bad”. I’m sure some of you can relate to this.
Nevertheless, I would love for someone to kindly explain to me how when we are rewarded for being “good” is any different to a “treat” a dog owner gives their pet.
I’m right, aren’t I?
When you really think about it, there’s not much difference between the two is there?
Don’t worry, I’m not stating the fact that we have all been domesticated like a house dog to depress you. Instead, I’d like to outline that this is the circle of life and everyone goes through this process. Not even your parents or those that have you could escape this process.
Blue pill or red pill
So let me take you out of the matrix for a second. What you’re about to read next is the reality:
You were born into an on-going game called ‘life’ → You were given a name → You were very carefree at the beginning (you probably even ran outside and played on the streets butt naked as a baby and didn’t give a damn who was watching) but → You didn’t know who or what you are → You had no identity and you needed one so → You form our identity based on what other people tell you about yourself. For example, “you’ve got your mother’s nose”, “you get angry just like your dad”, “you’re beautiful” or “you’re ugly” (the list goes on) and → depending on what you choose to believe or accept as the “truth” from what you’ve heard from others about yourself = the person you have become today.
Other ways we’ve been domesticated
Our parents or those that raised us were our first point of contact. This then trickles down to the institutions created by society.
If like me, you were born into a religion, you were obviously taught to follow that specific religion.
However, whether you decide to stop following it after reaching a mature age where you’re capable of making certain decisions is a separate matter altogether. The focal point remains that as a child, you didn’t have the chance to choose that religion. You were born into it. It was given to you and you couldn’t refuse.
Going back to my childhood, I can definitely remember being told to go to school; I never really understood why nor did I have the choice to opt out. For all I know, maybe school wasn’t for me. Who knows.
However, while I was in school, I learnt how to follow orders from those in authority.
By the time I left, I was already programmed to be submissive to authority.
Now, guess what? When I go to work as an adult, I now know how to follow instructions from my team leaders, managers and other key authoritative figures in the society simply because I’ve been getting “groomed” for these things as I grew older (the process of domestication).
The process is so strict that it constantly reminds us of the “consequences” if we fail to abide by the rules.
Once again, the focal point remains that none of us can avoid the process of domestication. Not even your parents or their parents and on and so forth.
I feel like this is a perfect opportunity to mention that I’m not encouraging anyone to break any rules or laws or to make decisions that will have an adverse effect on their life. Don’t send me e-mails describing how I ruined your life because e-mail is going straight to my spam box lol.
Nonetheless, I do understand that people react to the process very differently.
Some may decide to rebel and turn into “troublemakers” simply because they don’t agree with how they’ve been brought up and for most, they simply keep calm and carry on. Meaning that they jump on the ‘hamster wheel’ so to speak and timidly keep following the rules.
For people like us, we might start questioning some of the things we have learnt over the years. We begin to challenge the emotional poison we have swallowed during our process of domestication.
We question them not to become troublemakers but to claim back our true identity so that we can mould ourselves into the person we truly desire to become!
What if the negative things we’ve come to accept as truth during our childhood or adolescence were false? What if our sour experiences don’t define who we are today? What if we are unique? What if we are created for a greater purpose? I’m here to tell you that perhaps, you may be right! You are not alone on this path.
Something even more positive
Did you know that you have won a lottery before? It’s also the biggest lottery you will ever win in your life. Literally!
You can only win it once too.
You won the lottery of “life” but before you roll your eyes at me, just hear me out.
Did you know that the probability of the right sperm meeting the right egg to create YOU is 1 in 400 trillion and guess what, you’re the sperm that won! I’ll let you process that for 30 seconds.
No matter how “messed up” you think you are, you’re still the one that won! You’re literally a miracle didn’t you know…? Especially with those odds!
I’m not the type to believe in coincidence and I still struggle to grasp this concept till this day!
Whatever your past experiences are | they don’t define you!
Whatever you’re going through that seems like there’s no way out | it gets better!
Whatever unpleasant identity you were initially given | you can forge a new one!
Whatever ‘cards’ you were dealt at the start | you still have the power to win!
As cliche as this sounds: you really are more powerful than you can ever imagine but you won’t know it till you start believing it!
I’ve had to brainwash myself into believing this.
You can literally achieve anything you want in life. All it takes is a vision!
Where is this confidence coming from?
From time to time, a good friend of informs me that I’m too ‘gassed’ (overconfident) in certain areas.
“It’s not easy you know: what makes you think you can accomplish that?” I heard this quite often and my response has always remained the same: because I CAN and the universe has no choice but to get the hell out of my way!”
My level of faith is insane. So insane that I truly believe that with the faith of a mustard seed I can move mountains. Once I’ve made up my mind to accomplish something, it’s a wrap! I’ve already won before I even begin.
Back to you
Don’t you dare allow anyone to convince you that you ain’t shit!
Don’t allow anyone to devalue you.
You really cannot comprehend the chain of events that had to take place in order to create you as a perfectly formed living being.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are very unique!
Your story makes you unique.
Your imperfections, perceptions and interpretations make you unique. Your success and even your “failure(s)” makes you unique!
Only one of you exist and can only exist.
There is literally no one else like you and anything close is a copy. Including your very identical twin.
You are greater than your problems and you need to get out of your own way and stop limiting yourself.
Transcend your obstacles and circumstances.
I say all of that to say this
At end of the day, you’re already born so you might as well play the damn game.
Better yet, play the game to win.
What’s the alternative? Idly wait for death? That’s unacceptable.
Is your situation really that bad? Why not start rebuilding? After all, what more do you have nothing else to lose?
If you’re waiting to hit “rock bottom” I have some news for you: you might have fallen into a bottomless pit because the day might never come.
What you need to do is grab hold to something as if your life depends on it because it really does. Grab hold and stop yourself from falling any further then begin your ascent back to the top.
All you need is one small reason to keep going.
I don’t care what it is and you don’t have to share it with me or anybody else. Find your “reason why“. All you need is one tiny reason to keep going.
Only you have the power to make any of this happen.
I’ll see you at the top!
Don’t forget where you found this article and remember to like, comment and share it! #BeSafeTho90