I already imagine a few raised eyebrows after reading that title. However, can you just hear me out before you start jumping to conclusions okay?
(By the way…Can you get your mind out of the gutter? Jheeze!).
Let me just profess that I personally prefer taking hot showers to baths and the reason for that is quite simple: my damn bathtub has made a conscious decision to stress my life out!
Where do I even begin! First of all, the current from the tap suuuuuuckks! Not to mention the fact that the water doesn’t even get anywhere hot enough! (A REAL bubble bath connoisseur knows the level of delicacy and skill involved with getting “that” perfect temperature along with finessing the correct “bubble to clear water ratio”).
Oh, you thought I was taking hot showers out of choice?
Sometimes in life, all you want to do is get from point A to B but the universe can be an absolute prick and you find yourself counting from 1 to 10 instead.
Now, if you’re wondering why we don’t just get the bathtub fixed…I have three words for you: “can’t be arsed!”
Besides the shower is treating us just fine. I may even go as far as to say it saved my life!
lol okay so maybe there’s a slight exaggeration with my last statement above.
Okay! MASSIVE exaggeration (happy? lol) but I still have to be honest: a hot shower has sneakily become a crucial aspect of my life today.
Truth be told, this is where I make the majority of my life decisions. (I really can’t be the only person that does this right? I already know how weird I am but I’m going to need some of you to leave me a damn comment so that I know I’m not alone in this cheers!)Jokes aside, it’s actually pretty crazy how I make important life decisions while taking a shower. I’m pretty certain that I decided to take a break from my legal career while I was showering. However, making this decision was the easy part. The hard part was breaking the news to my parents. How exactly do you tell your very African parents that you want a break from a prestigious profession? (In the event that you’re not already aware, African parents are very big on academics. Navigating their kids into careers with fancy titles is their speciality).
Surprisingly, I didn’t actually get slapped when I broke the news to them. As a matter of fact, my mum was pretty cool about the whole thing and was very supportive during my hiatus. Although that’s probably because she’s not aware that I write blog posts like 13 reasons why she’s not into you in my spare time. (Duuuuuude! My mum is very religious but I’m a big man now so I’m beyond an ass whooping. But, I’d probably direct her attention to my other article called “the battle within” so that she can see that I’m not a completely “lost cause”)
As for my dad, he was in denial. He didn’t think I’d actually do it. I suppose his main concern was that I would completely turn my back on law. He thought I was simply going through a phase. (One of my exes thought the same as well when we were together but they operative word here is “ex”. Bless her heart lol).
P.s. Mum: if you ever stumble upon this article, please know that I am only joking! I have never had a girlfriend and I have not been defiled- I’m just flexing for my readers. I’m trying to get some views out here! It’s all purely entertainment. I’m too old for an ass whooping please ma.
How did I even get here?
Were you expecting some next level super hyped up motivational content from this post? Lol.
Did you not read the title? It clearly says “I take long showers so that I can prosper”. This isn’t about you beloved! It’s about me. I already told you that I’m not out here trying to be a guru, hype man or a motivational speaker. I’m here for a good time and to level up with you guys.
That said, I can’t dispute the amount of clarity I have while taking a hot shower and strangely enough, my imagination becomes even more powerful in there. (“I bet it does” #Inb4joke).
No word of a lie: I created the vision to start blogging while I was showering. I also mentally crafted EXACTLY how I intend to build a successful marketing empire during a shower session and guess what: 8 months later… everything is going according to my plans.
If you’re a complete noob (a rookie) at making life goals in the shower, pay attention to the following instructions: it is imperative that you have a pen and notepad readily available to IMMEDIATELY jot down any interesting ideas that could be worth exploring after you get out of the bathroom! (You’re welcome).
I say all that to say this:
If you’ve read my post and thought “this guy is such a weirdo” it could be worse: I could be that guy that makes life choices whilst taking a shit. Just sayin’
Level up and prosper!
I hope this post resonates well with you. If it doesn’t, you’ve been given my #2Cents on the matter regardless. Come at me bro! (I’ll probably cuss you out lol).
Don’t forget where you found this article and remember to like, comment and share it! #BeSafeTho99