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Recreate yourself

You are phenomenal. Stop seeking permission [1]

December 21, 2016

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Life begins when you stop seeking permission.

You can keep throwin’ shit at the wall but, you’re gonna find that nothing’s gonna stick until you apply yourself

Eminem did it again!

I am confident that there is someone reading this post right now, who is full of bright ideas or has an ambition that he or she have been wanting to explore for a while but have failed to do so.

I also know that there is somebody reading this post, who have gone ahead and shared some of their plans and goals to someone whom they trust only to get shut down and left discouraged.

Finally, I know that there is definitely someone reading this whose only interest is to tell people about their empty “aspirations” and “intentions” but rarely manifests anything. Even though you’re just an attention seeker, you need this blog post the most, to be honest. Continue reading and get your life together beloved.

The funny thing is, I have been all of the people described above at some point in my life. One of my many bad habits in the past was the instances where I would come up with some goals then continuously keep explaining myself to people regarding them. (In particular to my parents and close friends). On face value, this may seem normal, because these are trusted allies. Nothing wrong with sharing my ambitions with those on my side after all, right?

Well, that’s what I initially thought but, I quickly discovered how wrong I was.

While there is absolutely nothing wrong with explaining one’s aspirations, goals and ambitions to trusted individuals, there is, however, everything wrong with doing it to seek validation [Read that statement once more. Then 2x]

Let me explain

With reference to my experience, why did I feel the need to constantly explain myself to people?

Why was I trying so hard to persuade them that my plan was legit?

I questioned this behaviour quite often and, I eventually discovered that I was actually subconsciously seeking permission and validation from these individuals. In reality, all I was really doing was waiting for them to tell me that my plan was “good enough”.

Stop being a bitch

Deep down, I kind of knew that I was indirectly waiting for people to reassure me that things will work out for the best. Regardless of how much I’d like to front that I wasn’t seeking validation. I knew the truth deep down on some levels.  The truth of the matter was, I simply didn’t trust myself as much as I thought I did.

I can sit here and psychoanalyse my younger self some more but, what’s the point? I’d rather just call a spade a spade: I was an afraid little bitch.

Understanding

If you can relate to this (and can’t openly admit this to anyone, admit it to yourself!) And if you wish to change this, all it takes is a little bit of knowledge and understanding. 

Knowledge of self and, the understanding of the human nature. These two will save your life!

Nowadays, when I come up with an idea or plan, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that people will NOT always understand or share my excitement and when they don’t, it doesn’t and shouldn’t phase me!

My perspective and vision are quite unique therefore, I cannot expect everyone to see things the way that I do.

It really isn’t my job to convince anyone of the validity of my life goals or visions. As long as the plan makes sense to me, my focus is on “execution!”

However, I will say this: learning how to “say less than necessary” and not revealing all of my plans has worked wonders for me!

If you have a strategy that makes sense to YOU; own it and execute it to the best of your abilities! You don’t need to let the whole world know your intentions. I’m a big advocate of working hard in silence!

Things to watch out for

I’ve been in situations where I felt so intoxicated by an achievement which I was yet to attain.

I felt even worse when the excitement burnt me out mentally, so much that it would prevent me from fully concentrating my energy into accomplishing that particular goal in the first place.

The reason for this is simple: The release of the “feel good” chemical(s) in my brain would create this false sense of accomplishment and, I would be left feeling convinced that “I now know what it feels like to have achieved THAT goal” therefore, there was no need to “try”.

Obviously, this is all utter bullshit because, how would you know the extent of your capabilities if you don’t physically push your limits? Needless to say that you haven’t actually physically accomplished anything in the first place?

You haven’t done jack shit bro! Don’t kid yourself.

Don’t make the same mistakes as me!

-Timi Awolola

Please, don’t fall into the same pitfalls as me! Learn from my mistakes.

Whenever you have an ambition or a target you wish to accomplish, it is imperative that you carry out your due diligence.

While it’s perfectly fine for you to envision yourself achieving all of your “dreams”, just remember this: dreams without actions are simply that- dreams.

Be sure to conduct an in depth research, strategise then, start taking proactive steps to move closer towards achieving your goals.

I say all of that to say this:

Click here to read part 2

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Timi

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Timi Awolola

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