I’m not sure about you but I’m feeling fantastic today, beloved!
Before I get into this discussion, I’d like to do some humble bragging: one of my friends recently confessed that some of my blog posts have helped him to get through some tough times and I have to admit, his comments made this black man blush lol.
He revealed to me that he has read “damn! I fell off” at least 3 times and told me how he would always get goosebumps. That’s when it hit me: there is no way in hell I’m quitting blogging anytime soon!
In the article (brief summary- feel free to read the full thing through the link above), I explained how I allowed my mind to become soft. I was feeling uninspired and my work ethic diminished. Times were rough. I overcame this with a simple attitude/mindset shift. I objectively critiqued myself then returned to the reason why I started this project in the first place: STRENGTH with SUBSTANCE is a lifestyle and its foundation is firmly built on mental toughness. I was rejuvenated!
Your attitude/mindset = the life you live (It’s all about perspective). Learn to listen to feedback (good or bad).
Compliments make me feel uncomfortable! I respond better to negativity because I can use it as fuel. However, over the years, I’ve been working on appreciating a genuine compliment and to be honest, my friend doesn’t realise the power contained within those words he said to me.
I never started STRENGTH with SUBSTANCE with the intent to “blow up”. Not really. I am fully aware that fame, (especially internet fame) is extremely fickle. As such, my mission is quite different. I’m not here to seek attention or to chase popularity (cringe). Instead, I’m here to help people to improve their lives. I value every single one of my readers and since day one; I’ve always had the mindset that I will always create fire (top notch) content even if all I ever have is one active reader!
I’m a man with many layers:
I’m a “thinker” that sometimes spends more time than he should in his own head. I have conversations with myself BUT I am very much in touch with reality so I know I’m not crazy. (My mother had me tested is exactly what I would say if I was Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory lol).
I actually find it quite surprising that people appreciate my thoughts and think that I’m preaching “that good stuff” through my blog posts.
Truth be told, I’m NOT doing anything special. I’m just living my life and gradually sharing my story. “If some value can be derived from your experiences, observations and perceptive then why should you hide them?” I often wondered. After all, collective intelligence is the best form of learning right?
Let’s talk about the man (or woman) in the mirror
Apart from your reflection, what do you actually see when you look deeply into the mirror?
Let me tell you mine:
I see an absolute beast in control of his life…!
However… this wasn’t always the case. Let me explain. One of my core beliefs is performing good deeds without expecting anything in return.
I’ve always cared about helping other people. However, I am well aware that I attempt to suppress this side of me out of fear of being considered “weak”.
Funnily enough, some people have managed to see through my facade. They know that I’m a big softie at heart. The ones that have had the pleasure of getting to know me have described me as a kind and caring person. I personally think they were drunk when they said this lol. However, one of the biggest life lessons that I’ve been forced to learn is to disavow the mentality that I have the power to change people!
Once upon a time, I made this crucial mistake and to my detriment, only disappointments followed. I would then get emotional, rant, then detach myself from the person only to return for more let downs and disappointments.
How is this relevant?
I’m glad you asked.
“The man in the mirror” (past/younger me) used to be naive as well as deluded.
Among other things, he also lacked self-respect and subconsciously sought the validation of others. In short: he was a lil bitch!
He focused on others when he should have focused on developing himself from within. He was searching for qualities in others which he himself did not possess. “That person” cannot hold a candle to the man I’ve become today and if you’re wondering where I stand on “changing people” today… I firmly believe that it’s impossible.
We can only provide the tools but ultimately, the power is in their hands.
I say all that to say this:
I personally have a limited amount of energy to burn in the attempt of helping someone change themselves for the better.
It doesn’t matter how much self-help content you consume or how much brilliant advice you receive from people: unfortunately, they cannot change you. Only you can make this happen if you consciously wish to do so AND, actively work to make it happen. After all, there’s a reason why it’s called “self-help”. You are meant to use them as tools to help you better yourself!
I want you to decide on the person that you wish to become so that there’s no confusion with the person that appears before you the next time you look in the mirror! Now is the time for you to become selfish! Understand that you have the power to take control of your life. Yes. Your attitude/mindset determines the life you live and I passionately believe that if you can master your mindset, you will have an abundant life. Why? Isn’t it obvious? You will transcend all of the limiting beliefs anyone wants to impose on you- including yourself, as well as possess the mental fortitude to withstand any obstacles life throws at you.
Your mindset is your identity!
As human beings, it is innate for us wanting to dominate and conquer. Let’s cut the bullshit- we like being in control but we deny it because there’s a negative connotation attached to these words. However, I can see right through you. Humanity is based on this precept. How many times have we, as a collective, tried to control, dominate and conquer one another? No wonder the world is so messed up.
The everyday man or woman is crafty and will use different tactics to control and manipulate the other everyday man or woman. Either actively or passively. Conscious or subconscious.
Emotional blackmail is a prime example of this and the shitty thing is, you surrender your power over to this person the instant you allow yourself to be influenced by such tactics.
Let’s take “anger” as another example. When you lose your cool and allow something said or done to make you angry, you are no longer in control. That which you have chosen to anger you is now in control. You are now being dominated and rendered powerless and you don’t even know it and this is exactly where the issue lies!
We either actively or passively choose to allow others to control us. We choose to allow our circumstances to control us. We choose to believe false opinions about ourselves AND we choose to allow “life” to dominate us when it’s meant to be the other way around. I believe that this is why most people begin to develop a “victim” mindset. Soon enough, nothing will ever become their fault. They become less accountable for the crap that THEY have ALLOWED to affect them.
If this sounds like you: why not choose yourself today? Why not choose to take control and ownership of your mindset and life?
Understand that your mindset is not fixed and is definitely not carved in stone.
You can develop a badass mindset with some work and practice. One that does not worry about how “adequate” or “inadequate” they are. One that does not have a need to constantly prove themselves. One that understands that they are more than enough!
Your mindset is your identity. Master your mindset and you will master your life.
Don’t forget where you found this article and remember to like, comment and share it! #BeSafeTho90