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Recreate yourself

This is my last blog post…

December 31, 2018

Yes, this is definitely my last blog post until further notice.

Nowadays, self-help and personal development is ridiculously fashionable, but I guess I should be happy because people wanting to become a better version of themselves is never a bad thing, right?

The only problem is, when certain things are trendy, they are they become superficial. The classic one is the “new year new me” nonsense that tends to happen around this time of the year. (This is rich coming from a guy dropping a self-improvement blog post on December 31st, right? I guess I must be projecting my own shortcomings then. Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong. Let’s talk about it).

First of all, unlike some, I didn’t have to wait until the end of the year to examine myself and decide on the things I want to improve. I’ve been gradually auditing my life during past few months and my discovery so far is that I’m not ‘good enough’.

Good enough for who?

Don’t get it twisted- there’s levels to this: my goal isn’t to become the master of the universe. Instead, it’s to always be the master of my own universe.

So, when I say something like “I’m not good enough”, this isn’t a cry for attention or indulging too much in self-pity or shooting myself down.

I’m not suffering from feelings of inferiority, neither am I being a harsh critic of myself.

Saying I’m not good enough isn’t comparing myself to others and “wishing things were different”.

Instead, it is a fair assessment of my strengths and objectively understanding my current limitations.

It is utilising self-awareness and intense realism to critically assess who I was, who I am, and who I have to become and then improve “him” as well.

It is the quiet confidence deep within that has the sheer audacity to demand what he wants from life, knowing full well that the universe has no choice but to personally sign and deliver it. And if it can’t it needs to get the hell out of my way!

It is the understanding that I may not be good enough, but I am definitely more than enough. That is, truly understanding that I am absolutely nothing, but I am also everything.

It is the peaceful voice reminding me that I was born an original, and, shouldn’t die a copy.

The voice that whispers that I have an obligation to succeed.

* * * *

To accept that I am good enough is to accept that I no longer have areas to improve upon- this would be foolish.

I came across a very powerful statement during my audits. It said: the pretence of knowledge is a very dangerous vice. It prevents us from getting any better. I thought about it for a long time and it made me realise that I had transgressed one of my own principles: I found that I had confused movement with progress along the way.

Let me explain:

Here’s the thing about me: I enjoy reading self-help books and publications so naturally, I have acquired some functional knowledge along the way, albeit infinitesimal in comparison the knowledge possessed by many ‘thinkers’ out there.

The self-help blogging community is extremely saturated with thinkers.

Thinkers are blessed with the ability to conceptualise, theorise, dissect and extrapolate based on the data/information they have downloaded through for example, research and observations. In most some cases, it’s rarely from their own personal experience and even if it is, are they credible to the top percentile of the world?

Sadly, these days, the bar has been set very low. We don’t have high expectations from people anymore so all someone has to do is produce content that can sufficiently convince and satisfy the average guy or gal because let’s be honest, there are more average people in the world in comparison to those that belong in the top tier.

Thinkers know how things would work in theory but have very little frame of reference to show that they’ve actually done it. Unfortunately, this is the part that let us down.

My website isn’t created for the average person because the average person does not care as much as you do about the betterment of the important areas of their life. They might say they do, but it’s hard to take them seriously because their words and actions rarely align.

My goal is to create content that stimulates the slightly above average and those with the potential to break through any of the limitations imposed on them and grind their way into the top tier.

I have a task for you:

Think of all the authors you know that have written about personal development. And by ‘authors’, I mean anyone that has ever produced a piece of content on self-improvement as opposed to just a published author.

How many can you count that frequently use themselves and their own personal stories as illustrations as they offer their “expert” advice to your problems? (Even I’m guilty of this to a certain extent).

How many can tell you about the time they encountered the problem they’re addressing and a step by step guide on how they solved it?

Yes, these people might have all the qualifications and certifications. They might have all the “research and studies shows…” under their belt. They might have even borrowed materials from other staple publications in history and then add their own sauce (spin/perspective) and repackage it to ‘suitable quality’ to satisfy their audience but, how many of them really have experience in what they’re talking about?

Here’s how I see it: from what I’ve seen so far, the content curators in the self-help and personal development community isn’t that much different to those ‘social media experts’ that claim will get you 10k followers on Instagram but only have 200 on their own page.

What I’m trying to say is, yes, these people are insightful on paper but rarely have enough evidence of them doing what they preach.

This is what I’m afraid of fully becoming!

I know that I’ve been shying away from seeking out new experiences that will stimulate growth. Instead, I fraudulently ignorantly embarked on the path to become the guy that can produce “amazing content” based on only what he reads about. Screw that- I’m calling myself out for this.

Life isn’t a video game that can be paused or restarted. There’s no do-overs. We don’t get to earn an extra life however, we get to level the hell up!

I don’t want to look back only to realise that I’ve barely experienced life nor do I want to feel like a fraud for misleading people with my content.

This website is called Strength with Substance for a reason and I want to live up to the “substance” element and this is exactly why I have decided to take some time off creating and publishing blog posts to focusing on gaining practical knowledge in life which I can then later share with my readers so that they can go and better theirs.

I’m tired of writing and forming opinion based on what I’ve read. Screw that. I’m better than that.

I created a goal with my missus to travel the world and gather a lot of content to post about in the future. I want to create a successful business and give entrepreneurialism a proper go. (The successful business people I know go out there and create something worth talking about first, before they expose themselves to the world and I’m nowhere near their level. Not just yet).

I want to attend seminars and development courses.

I want to learn new languages.

I want to understand how to better communicate with myself and others so that I can improve the quality of my relationship(s).

I want to focus on my romantic life and get my mental and physical health in order.

I want to develop more grit and achieve the bragging rights to talk about it.

I’m nowhere near the potential of what I’m capable of and I know for a fact that I need to unplug from the internet for a while if I want to stand a chance.

I just want to freaking grow!

People are not set in stone and I finally realised that sometimes, to lead an orchestra, you have to turn your back to the crowd.

The tagline of this website wasn’t just written for shits and giggles: I’m really here to take you through my journey of self-discovery and mastery so I need to go and do just that. However, I’ll be back in a jiffy.

I’m worth the wait. Trust me.

Evolve or freaking die baby!

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Timi

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Timi Awolola

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