In my 25 years of drawing breath on this earth, I’ve had to deal with a lot of personal struggles just like you and every other human being to ever exist.
However, you’ll notice that I’ve been very cautious about the type of information that I divulge about myself and for good reasons too. For example, I don’t ever want my stories to overshadow my message.
When I first started blogging, I felt like there would be a disconnect with my audience if I didn’t reveal my deepest darkest secrets so to speak. And, to keep it real, I felt a little insecure about this for a minute because I didn’t want you guys to think I’m a fraud or “inauthentic”, but then I came to my senses, stopped giving a damn and started writing more.
The dog and the nail
We’ve all heard the analogy about the dog that was crying and groaning because he was sat on a nail (google it if you haven’t) but, why wouldn’t he just get up? Well, that’s because he simply wasn’t hurting enough.
“Walking with a tack in your shoes” is quite similar to the above and for our purposes, it will be used as a metaphor for unhappiness.
How many of you try to fake apathy or pretend that you’re indifferent to the world where in reality, you’re just truly unhappy with yourself and, frustrated with how certain events have transpired in your life?
I’ll gladly hold my hands up and confess to this although, I’m not here to compare struggles. Instead, let me tell you how I dealt with some of my issues:
I’m a highly calculated and strategic thinker who get extremely motivated at the prospect of accomplishing personal goals. I’m also a principled man and I enjoy scheming/strategising on how to accomplish my goals. Unfortunately, this is a gift and a curse.
I’m pretty confident in my abilities to accomplish any goal I set for myself so I’m not really accustomed to “failing” or familiar with “losing”. That said, my younger self would create the grandest visions (which is awesome by the way) as well as the plan and strategy to achieve them.
However, after being punched in the mouth by life a few times, I started to become toxic.
My frustrations and “failures” bred a lot of negativity into my life and it’s only in hindsight that I’m able to even make this assessment. At the time, I was set in my very rigid way of thinking.
My younger self really thought he knew best and thought his plans had 200% chance of success. Even if they did, they were clearly not materialising in the ways they were envisioned. Instead, I was rewarded with disappointments, frustrations and unhappiness, disguised as indifference.
I was in denial at the time: I just kept masking, suppressing and dismissing any negative emotions rather than dealing with them in a healthy manner.
Deep down, I was actually very unhappy that I wasn’t getting the results I wanted and it was affecting me in ways that I wasn’t able to correlate had I not taken some time to truly reflect. As soft as it sounds, I really had to spend some time with myself because, at some point, some of my actions started to affect my relationships.
Walking around with a tack in your shoes
But when do we say enough is enough?
Why do we feel like we can’t change our lives at any moment in time?
Must we wait to reach our breaking point or rock bottom? Why?
Why do we feel the need to take permission from anyone before we can transcend our circumstances?
Why do we feel obligated to hold on to toxic relationships and do things we dislike just to please or impress others?
Why did I feel the need to adhere to a plan or goal that was set up by my younger self a year or four ago? Especially if the present me wouldn’t have agreed or strategised that way?
Remove the tacks in your shoes! Enough is enough!
Stop dismissing or suppressing your emotions or risk it building up toxicity inside of you.
You need to question “why” you’re actually doing something, then change your circumstances if the reason is not good enough for you- no need to stick to a plan you made in the past that the present “you” will not back up!
Don’t forget where you found this article and remember to like, comment and share it! #BeSafeTho101