Working on yourself like clay should be one of your greatest and most pleasurable life tasks
– The 48 Laws of Power
Given that ‘self-help’ is a multi-billion dollar industry, what we’re about to discuss is definitely not an original thought. However, I just want to offer my #2Cents on the topic at hand.
Have you ever wondered if anyone else is dealing with a similar struggle just like you? Of course, you have! What a silly question am I right?
If you’re into self-help and personal development, there’s a 100% chance that at some point in your journey, you have tried to “diagnose” and “fix” yourself by consulting the greatest and most qualified expert in existence- Google. (Of course, I’m being sarcastic!)
However, sorry to break this to you but wanting to find the reasons for your internal conflicts makes you exceptionally human just like the rest of us (and there you were thinking you’re a weirdo) but not to worry: I’m not going to judge you for what you secretly search for on the internet behind closed doors in the hope of freeing yourself from emotional turmoil.
It’s such a shame that you’re looking for answers in the wrong places because there’s a 100% chance that Google will diagnose you with stress, insomnia, low-self esteem, anxiety and other “fun” mental health disorders.
If you’re lucky, it might even diagnose you with cancer from that “headache” you suffered intermittently 3 weeks ago.
You need to stop trying to diagnose yourself with the information on the internet because you will find exactly what it is you’re looking for. I’d rather you seek professional help from a qualified practitioner if you’re really concerned about something in particular!
Anyway, back to me
Up until recently, I was really finding it difficult to “switch off” my brain from doing too much thinking. I was an emotional wreck for about a month. I think most of it was associated with the fact that we’re swiftly approaching the end of 2017 and during these moments, I normally engage in some deep self-reflection.
Some of my internal struggles:
I am undoubtedly an ambitious guy, full of potential but at the same time, I won’t pretend that I completely have all my shit together. I am exceptionally flawed just like every other human being out there (I hope I haven’t shattered your world too much with this news lol).
As I took some time to reflect on some of my goals in the ‘fortress of solitude’ i.e. my tiny ass bedroom in my mama’s house (come at me bro), I was overwhelmed with an extraordinary feeling of self-doubt and inadequacy!
My personality type is a “thinker” because I have the tendency of spending too much time in my own head. I’m quite aware of my shortcomings hence why I am always actively seeking ways to improve and in the process of doing so, that’s when it hit me:
I can turn some of my weaknesses into assets!
By living my life and sharing my story!
I’m not going to regurgitate materials which are readily available online but if you pay close attention to the stories of some great people in history, you will find that some, if not most of them had some sort of insecurities or personal struggles that they moulded to their advantage. Notable ones include:-
- Richard Branson’s dyslexia and;
- Bruce Willis’s stutter as a teenager.
We can even throw in Jay William’s story about Kobe Bryant’s insane work ethic because anyone can deduce that Kobe somewhat felt threatened.
The argument is this: regardless of how “confident”, “attractive” or “put-together” people may appear to you, everyone has something that they’re secretly struggling with and it’s up to them to decide if they’re going to allow it to fuel or weigh them down!
I’m turning 26 years old in 2018 and I’m getting to that stage in my life where I’d like to have a family of my own to protect and serve. And, one of my biggest insecurity concerning this is my finances, coupled with the fact that I’m not yet the man that I’m actively working towards becoming. Nonetheless, I am using this to fuel my inevitable transformation- it’s only a matter of time!
Similarly, a skinny or over-weight individual who is insecure about their appearance may decide to get into shape to conquer this.
Some people develop a greater sense of humour and learn not to take themselves too seriously and some of these individuals even take it further by forging a successful career out of it. (Now it make sense why some comedians engage in self-depreciating humour so much).
I personally have no shame in admitting that I was insecure about being a terrible conversationalist.
However, I’ve been doing some research on how to become better at this. I saw it as an opportunity to learn, grow and improve in an area I felt needed some work.
Others use their insecurities as fuel for creating amazing work ethic, ensuring that they never regress to their former selves. Meanwhile, on the opposite end of the spectrum, others will use it as an excuse to remain stagnant because they will take this message very lightly and continue to wallow in self-pity- my website is not for these types of individuals.
I say all that to say this
I know this is a cliche BUT it wasn’t until I truly understood that I’m in a league of my own that I was able to overcome my feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. Realising that I’m really not competing against nobody else other than myself has really helped me.
Now I find that when I feel inadequate, it’s probably in comparison to whom I used to be, or the man I’m trying to become, which I personally think can be healthy. For example, the person I am today cannot hold a candle to the person I’m trying to become, and I’m glad that this makes me feel inadequate. Why? Because I use that as fuel to become better. Or rather, to become “him”.
The bottom line
Some of our insecurities can be an amazing catalyst for positive change and innovation, but true empowerment lies in humility- that is, humility to always be open to improvements. Understand that your job is never done. We are constantly learning and growing!
Don’t forget where you found this article and remember to like, comment and share it! #BeSafeTho235